To Be Where My Feet Are

The Future. That’s the great big unknown that’s on everyone’s minds, no matter what stage of life in which they currently find themselves. And lately, everyone close to me has been concerned with what my future holds: What are my career plans? Where do I intend to be? Who am I going to become? And no matter how badly I want to give people answers (and want to have answers for my own peace of mind)…I simply can’t.

All I keep worrying about lately is that unknown ahead of me. I don’t know where I’ll be in the fall, and I don’t know what I’ll be doing. This also means that I have no idea what lies further into the future—Grad School? A PhD? Stuck in the same job in which I started? Doing something other than teaching or music? The Great Unknown that is the future is simply a mystery to me…what I need to remember is that that’s exactly how it should be.

I keep thinking back to the last mass I went to at UD. The Sister who made the opening remarks gave a special message for the graduating Seniors. Among her many moving words about what the future held for us, she reminded us to always keep our hearts where our feet were. Sounds simple enough, right? Yet the future can be an intriguing force, particularly for someone like me who is constantly trying to move forward. With all of these worries floating through my head about my future career and all of the other concerned people around me adding to my desire to not disappoint, thinking about my future has basically become an obsession. I have already started to forget that the most beneficial and effective thing I can do for myself at this point is to embrace and focus on the now. Every day is a gift, and every moment can bring new opportunities and adventures. But if all I do is fret about what’s waiting around the corner for me, I could actually end up missing out on something amazing.

Being “where my feet are” also entails that I need to refrain from these feelings of regret. Are there aspects of my college career that I wish had panned out differently? Yes, but I also created countless memories that made me the person I am today, and there is no way of changing the past anyway. Do I wish that some of the interviews that I’ve had thus far could have gone differently? Yes, definitely, but as I said before there is no way of changing the past. Would I rather be off having amazing adventures like some of my friends this summer than staying here to fret about finding a job? Of course, and I would love to be joining them right now. I’ll readily admit that I’m jealous of my best friend who is off living in Italy or of the UD travelers lucky enough to return to Jamaica and see the students I fell in love with only a year ago. But those are their adventures to be had right now, and I’ll be able to have my own again when the time is right.

If all I do is obsess over my regrets, I won’t be able to live my life to its fullest. And if I keep stressing over what the future holds, I’ll actually end up missing out on the experiences that arise. So, in short, what I need to do is accept my past for what it has given me, leave the future to run the course that it is meant to travel, and always keep my heart in the present—right where my feet are.