It’s funny how such a drastic change in my schedule can really mess up my concentration. I remember earlier in the semester when I was at the peak of my task-mastering. All I could think was, “How the heck did I get myself into so much? What was I thinking?!” But I plowed through the seemingly endless responsibilities, and I kept thinking how great it was going to feel once I was graduated and free from all of the student teacher craziness. However, now that I’m “free,” I would give anything to be back in that mode again. Without a plan lined up yet for the fall, I want to kick my job searching into high gear. Unfortunately, there are moments when I simply have to be at a standstill. Either it’s the weekend and therefore I can’t call any schools, the websites I check every day have no new updates, or I can’t find any more applications to fill out. This means that in the past three weeks, I believe I’ve been on the computer for more hours doing absolutely nothing than I have in the entire semester. I’ve watched more clips on YouTube and Hulu and checked my Facebook more religiously than I ever have in my college career. And it’s all because if I don’t do something to keep my mind occupied, I’ll do nothing but sit and worry about the future. Boredom and my own mind have become my greatest enemies, and they won’t be combated for at least another few weeks. My biggest concern is that this boredom (and the continual pang of worry in my mind) will affect my motivation and drive to keep looking for a job. What will inevitably be stronger- my passion for teaching or the fear that freezes me into lethargy?
Maybe I’ll take to scrapbooking again…
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