"To just be you."

I was once again eating a Dove chocolate today – I’m forcing myself to eat them as soon as possible, as I just joined a gym this weekend (I’m telling you, it’s REALLY torturous). The quote today said, “Give yourself permission to just be you.” I thought it was rather amusing that I got this quote today of all days. This has likely been one of my hardest days as a teacher. It wasn’t necessarily because of the kids (even though they were far from perfect). It was the fact that I absolutely abhorred my teaching today – I hated the lessons I created, I hated my delivery, and I’m pretty sure that if I was a student in my class today I would have an extremely difficult time enjoying myself as well. As a teacher, you are supposed to be able to accept these days as a natural part of the process, learn from your mistakes, and move on. Essentially, it’s letting yourself “just be you” as a teacher. Yet how can I accept this truth when my students have barely any sympathy for mistakes? Instead of showing compassion at a person’s weakest moments, they see it as an opportunity for domination. Instead of cutting me a break, they knock me down. When I last checked, being me entails not being perfect in the slightest sense, especially when it comes to how I run my classroom. In this teaching environment, then, how can I possibly be comfortable giving myself permission to be me when my students obviously do not accept that as enough?