"Go home and forget about it all..."

I have officially finished my first week of real teaching, and oh what a week it has been! I thought the week and a half of teacher training we did prior to the students coming was overwhelming enough. Now THIS week has been a mind-melting, nerve-bending five days of new experiences and information to absorb.

For the first few days of school, “organization” was definitely not a word that was used in our vocabulary. Even though we had our brains fried by endless pieces of information the week before, us newbies were left out in the cold with many very important pieces of protocol (like how we should take attendance, since the online system has yet to be up and running). Oh, and my daily schedule was changed at least three times in the first day, meaning that not only was I totally confused about what classes I would be receiving from period to period, the classroom teachers were equally confused. This meant that I had no break the second day – not the most fun.

My kids have quite some personality too. Some of them are excellent – my “star students” as I like to call them. Unfortunately, I currently have more bad eggs in my basket than stars. In these first few days, I have already had students give me attitude, talk back to me, refuse to give me their behavior folders because I’m “just” the music teacher, declare that they don’t care about music class because their parents said their reading and math grades matter more, complain that they like Spanish class better, and say that they are glad they only have music every other day. As much as it has genuinely hurt me to hear these opinions, I have tried my absolute best to stay firm. I have marked in students’ behavior folders left and right, given writing assignments, talked to students out in the hall, talked to their homeroom teachers, and any other defense I could muster on the spot. A sort of “fight or flight” instinct kicks in when faced with such an extreme classroom management fiasco – the teacher either stays firm and follows through, or she doubts and lets her kids walk all over her. As much as I prefer Happy Ms. G over Tough Ms. G, I had to make a choice, and I chose to fight. You wouldn’t go into a battle without your armor, right?

That all being said, there were some genuinely enjoyable parts to the week. One of my 2nd Grade classes, for instance, are some of the greatest kids I have ever taught. When I played a recording of myself in one of my 8th Grade classes, they called it “beasty”. They’re already learning various aspects of good behavior I’m trying to instill, like raising their hands before speaking, not saying “shut up” (a very very bad habit all of these kids have), and using words like “Ma’am” and “Sir.” They don’t like all of the music I have shown them, but they do like some and are giving some very insightful responses. Oh, and my favorite part of the week was when one of my 6th Grade classes called me “jumptified” because of my piano playing skills and sweet dance moves (okay…maybe they’re not totally sweet, but they’re not bad). It’s moments like these that I hold on to when I go home at the end of the day, and the moments that inspire me to wake up and do it all again the next day.

I have already immersed myself in the habit of bringing work home with me to affect practically every other aspect of my life. I’m always updating lesson plans, checking my work email, and looking for more supplies. Heck, even on my days off, I’ve woken up in the middle of giving lessons in my sleep. But my art teacher, who I can already tell is going to be a priceless resource this year, gave me some very sage advice: the minute you leave school, you forget about it all. This is not to say that I shouldn’t care about my kids outside of school hours, as I most definitely will. But there will be stories I hear, experiences I have, and emotions I feel within this year that simply cannot affect me at home if I hope to keep my sanity. I need to be able to decompress, relax, and find time for my own peace of mind each day. As much as I like to have the heart of a martyr, I also need to worry about my own well being now. After all, how can I expect to be there for my kids if I am not completely there myself?

Essentially, this first week was an incredibly overwhelming, tiring, and eye opening experience. And I know there is much more to come in this next week…that’s what will be inspiring me to get up and go back tomorrow morning.