Fate has unfortunately foiled my grand plans to have an awesome Spring Break. Well, they may not have been exactly grand, but they were going to consist of more than me being bedridden all day. Since Saturday, I’ve gone from simple nausea to a stomach virus to the feverish sickie that is myself today. The sun is finally shining, and I have to be here in a dark room trying to sleep off a sickness that was most likely caused by the many stresses of the past few weeks.
So what has had me stressed, you ask? Well, our spring concert rehearsals have finally been up and running for the past few weeks, and I have already run into several challenges I had not anticipated. The students in our cast are working hard, they have already improved immensely, and their enthusiasm is far more infectious to their schoolmates than the last time. However, I am continually reminded of the fact that we have performers in the making on our hands, not students who have vast prior knowledge of performing etiquette. I have had students forget about rehearsals, singers proclaim that they wanted their song changed or that they were quitting entirely because they didn’t know their song, and actors get confused about their assigned role even after I have written it on the cast list AND told them in person. Some days I have been left grumbling to myself, “How can they not KNOW?!” And then I remember where I am and why I’m here, and I feel guilty for forgetting that they do not know because nobody has ever taken the time to teach them. I remember that I must always find the patience to meet them where they are, for only then can we work our way to the level of expertise we want our performers to master.
As we continue to work through our student obstacles, the more painful hurdle for me lately has been the financial side of putting on a how. In college, our classes always focused on concert preparation and music pedagogy, and a small handful of lessons were geared towards the more practical side of building a music program. In these lessons, it was never explained how a teacher in a high-poverty school could fundraise enough money to fund her program, much less convince the administration for some quick cash when it’s needed last-minute. I love that we’re thinking big with our spring show, but it doesn’t help that money to fund our big dreams seems nowhere to be found. Asking the school board for help has not gone anywhere, the SAI fundraiser has been kind of a flop, and people’s suggestions have not been fruitful. I am slowly running out of ideas and options, and it bothers me that it’s coming so close to the show. It’s left me feeling defeated, discouraged, and very alone in my fight, and I’m positive that it’s one of the reasons why I have become so nauseous these past few days.
Does this mean I’ve given up? Hardly. Every day is a new opportunity waiting to be revealed, and once we get back to school I’ll hopefully have some new fight in me and I’ll be up to making some new proposals. And I suppose that a lot of it at this point is sheer faith that the turnout will be positive, even if it isn’t the grand result I was hoping to find.
Oh, and if anyone is reading this and has money to spare, I will gladly take donations for my school’s cause :-)
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